Wednesday, December 23, 2009

'Twas the Night Before...

I wrote and posted this one year ago and it seemed to get great reviews (and I like it, too), and it's that time of year again, so here is "'Twas the Night Before the Tourney" again:

'Twas the night before the tourney, when all through the card room
Not a rounder was stirring, except at table two
The chips were being riffled as each bet was in place,
Each player was wondering "Did he have an Ace?"

The players were day-dreaming and trying to get a good read,
while they had visions of trapping while having the lead;
The dealer was nervous, as was the pit boss,
They knew that in this pot lots of chips would be lost;

When suddenly at the table there arose such a clatter,
All the other players ran to see what was the matter;
The crowd 'round that table seemed to swell so fast,
I knew a monster pot was brewing, someone's stack wasn't going to last.

One player had bet, and another had popped it up
The action was to me, and I took a drink from my cup;
When I finally peeked at my hole cards, to my wondering eyes should appear,
Sure enough, they were Aces, and I took another drink of beer;

So casual and cool, I tried to look,
I wanted their stacks, not let my fish off the hook;
I made sure not to alarm, I announced "I call"
and now it was time to be like a stone wall

The action was back to the original bettor
I was hoping his cards were paired with a different letter
as I'm sure he'd decide to put in his whole stack
and then we'd see if my Aces could be cracked;

And he whistled, and spoke, and announced ranks by name;
"Do you have Queens, or Kings, or maybe the same?
This hand's not that bad, I don't see how I fold!"
I guessed he had Jacks, from what he had told;

And then it got quiet, not a player seemed to move
He thought he was slick, he thought he was smooth
when he shoved his chips to middle and announced "I'm all in"
the other guy folded and I was looking for a nice win.

I called and tabled Aces, and he his Jacks
I now was looking at all those chips and all those big stacks,
The dealer put out the flop, it had some paint,
One Ten, one Queen, and a Jack, Ugh! I thought I would faint;

Then I noticed something, my only saving grace
their suits all were spades, as was my Ace
I prayed and prayed as the dealer did burn,
and another Jack did he put on the turn.

Quad Jacks, that's no good, I'm down to one out
"C'mon King of Spades! One time!" I gave a shout;
The dealer burned a card, the river was comin'
If it's not that King, I'm gonna be grumblin'

The dealer spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and put out that river card, and then jumped with a jerk,
as a spade it was, and also a King
The unbeatable Royal Flush the river did bring

I raked in the pot, it seemed so surreal
my opponent seemed upset, it was hard to conceal
It was time for me to leave with my new-found stash,
so I went to the window with my chips to cash

And as I left I looked at that table
No one could believe it, "Lucky" was my new label
And then I said to them, before I ducked out of sight,
"Better luck to you all, Merry Christmas, and good night!"


A little cheeky, perhaps, but it was still lots of fun writing this one. I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas!!